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Domestic abuse isn’t just about physical violence; it's about power and control, and can be very complex and confusing for those living within its walls. When you are walking on eggshells in your relationship, you naturally find ways to cope and survive. Maybe you’ve found yourself rationalizing your partner’s behavior to yourself or others, saying or thinking things like:
"Yeah he has a temper, but he would never hit me."
"It’s not that he doesn’t want me to have friends. He’s just protecting me."
"He says things that scare me, but I know I'm hard to love at times."
In this blog series, you’ll hear survivors of domestic abuse share the “rational lies” they used to survive within their abusive relationships. You’ll hear stories of how these survivors ultimately gained the courage to #DefyTheLie, breaking the cycle of abuse and building new lives filled with safety and hope.
If you are living within the walls of domestic abuse, we hope these stories will help you understand you are not alone. There is hope. There is help. Our services are free and confidential. Call us 24/7 at 1.800.291.2139.
“For years I had myself convinced: ‘It’s not really abuse because technically he never hit me.'”
“Everything he does is about him.”
“He only acted this way when he was clean and sober and those days became fewer and further between.”
“I started showing up to work with bruises.”
“He had squeezed my arms until they were black and blue, dragged me from one room to the next by my hair, strangled me, shoved me up against walls, and held a gun to my head, but he had never hit me.”
“What I was asking from him was not above and beyond the realm of a healthy marriage. The truth was that I was being abused and I did not have to be! I could leave. I am strong. I am of value.”