The Shadow Behind Me: A Stalking Story

Safe Harbor Voice  |  January 6, 2022
The Shadow Behind Me: A Stalking Story

Leer en español 

This story is written by an anonymous survivor, details have been changed to protect their identity, but the risk is well worth the reward. In recognition of Stalking Awareness Month, it is time that we share stories to understand what stalking is and what it does to the survivors living in the shadows.  

The Shadow Behind Me  

I was really hoping the distance and time apart would create a space for us to learn, grow and appreciate each other more. I just returned, trying to reconcile with my partner, father to our child, after fleeing our home. However, this was not the case, it was actually worse than before. The verbal and physical abuse started right after we moved back in together. As much as I really wanted this relationship to work especially for our child, I now knew there was no way. My partner was not capable of NOT abusing me. I fled our home (again) grabbing what few necessities I could for myself and my child.  

Almost immediately I realized I was being followed. I was originally going to stay in our home state, but now with the headlights in my rearview mirror I just kept driving and driving.  Trying to get away from the pain, hurt and the fear I drove across the country. I got myself and kid into a domestic violence shelter in another state. I was scared but was starting to feel safe. 

It wasn’t but a few weeks and I realized my phone, email and other accounts had been hacked. And then one day I was at the park with my kid and there were some men there who started questioning me...these men knew things about me and the fear that gripped me was intense. My ex must know where I am! I immediately left the park, packed my car up and left that state with my child.  

I arrived at another shelter, scared and afraid to even have a phone. After a few days of adjustment, I was set up with a new phone and number and received help in creating a new email account. I was just starting to get comfortable again, when I started to recognize men who were some of my ex’s old “connections,” he had a lot of those. And, once again my phone was hacked. 

Finally, I was relocated to Safe Harbor. While feeling safe, I am still scared. I’m scared to use or get a phone; I’m scared to enroll my child in school; I’m scared to get a job outside “working from home,” all to minimize the possibility of my ex locating me. I live in constant fear that he is somewhere out there, looking and searching for me.  My life is spent in fear of the next time he will find me and my child.  

I am a survivor of domestic violence.

“I didn’t know that I was being abused...

I am a survivor of domestic violence.

“I didn’t know that I was being abused because my definition of abuse looked different. My husband pushed me, but most of my suffering was verbal and psychological. I left my husband to protect our young daughter. Almost immediately I felt the weight of his oppression begin to lift. I could see a difference in my daughter as well. Then he broke into my home and assaulted me in-front of her.

I sought help and was led to Safe Harbor. My daughter and I are in counseling now. I am sorting out the mess that abuse has caused. I am finding my voice and seeking opportunities to grow and better my life as well as my daughter's. She will gauge her self-worth from my own self-worth. I must show her that she deserves the best, by expecting the best for myself.

Many years I suffered in silence. By telling my story and being honest with friends and family, I am taking control of my life again.”

- Beth



When you give to Safe Harbor, 82 cents of every dollar goes directly to our intervention services and prevention initiatives to break the cycle of domestic violence in the Upstate of South Carolina. 

Donate Now


We are available to provide domestic violence education and information about Safe Harbor’s services through speaking engagements, trainings, workshops and awareness campaigns.





Safe Harbor Resale Shop operates solely on donations from our generous community. Donations are tax deductible and make a difference in the lives of our clients.  



Your donated furniture can support our clients as they transition out of our programs and start a new life, and can also raise money for Safe Harbor by going to our Resale Shop to be re-sold.



Give us your email address and we will keep you up to date on the latest happenings at Safe Harbor.

Error Message